I was on a path, all by myself. I was single and alone but with my Lord. Then God brought someone into my life... he was on the other side of the bridge... he waved me over and offered me his hand.
My own path was to my left and the bridge was to my right... I had to make a choice. I could stay on my path, the one that God and I were walking alone or cross the bridge. I could place my hand into his hand and walk with him. I took a deep breath, the assuring presence of my Lord at my side, and with shaking legs crossed that bridge grabbed his hand and took the way of Love.
We are now entering February. The month of "Luuuve." This will be my first ever Valentine's day with a boyfriend. We have been together together since Nov. 29th. So a little over two months.
This is all so new to me. I talk to friends and say that I'm on a "learning curve." Bruno is my first everything. Romantic love is wonderful. But I know it's not the end all. We are in a serious relationship called "Courtship" to see if we should marry. It is in both our hearts and desires that that is how it ends...or should I say begins? Because marriage is a beginning.
I do love him. I can feel it in my gut. Sometimes it almost hurts. I have cared for and in my own way loved other guys but it wasn't like this. Most of the time it wasn't mutual. A couple of times there was a mutual interest but there was no commitment. Romantic love should definitely have a level of commitment involved.
Our whole focus is not just the romantic side. We are growing in a relationship as spiritual beings and emotional beings and as just regular humans. He loves football, I'm not a huge fan. He's 38 I'm 31. He's a man, I'm a woman. (Some BIG differences come with that card!) He absolutely loves business, alot of what he knows about business I'm clueless on. I read, he likes to listen to teachings or educational shows. We have some really big differences in just who we are as individuals.
I am growing! as a person, as a spiritual being. Growing in self awareness in relationship to another human being. Sometimes I feel a little lost wondering is this what a relationship is suppose to look like!? For real! Hehe!
He is my first! He is my first boyfriend. First person that I've romantically told "I love you," and heard it back. He is the first guy that I've ever held hands with, written a love letter to, received a love letter from and gotten a dozen roses from.
Honestly this has been scary too. Because I know the seriousness of what we are doing. We are in a preliminary relationship to see if the other one is our "forever." If the Lord wills we will marry and it will be for a LIFETIME. We will never use the "d" word, divorce. That is not how we "roll." A lot of prayer has and is going into this. We pray every time we are together and almost every day if we aren't together.
I have asked friends and family for counsel and received a lot of prayer from them also. I've also started meeting with someone that has been married for over 20 years, a christian older lady friend. I feel I cannot figure this out on my own. I lean into the Lord for his guidance. Ultimately Bruno and I want and seek after God's best. Our tag line has been "Lord willing." When we say "Lord willing" we are talking about marriage, if the Lord wills we will marry some day. But in the mean time we are taking one day at a time, seeking His face and hand. His timing, his doors to be opened or closed.
I love this passionate, intense natured man in a number of ways. He is my friend "phileo," I love him with romantic love "eros" and we are growing in "agape," unconditional love through Christ who saved us.
Romantic love brings a fire to a relationship but the agape love of Christ, on which we both stand, is what would bring a love relationship through the tests of time.
"...but the greatest of these is love." 1st Cor. 13:13