He makes all things new...

As some of you know my mom has been battling stage 3 breast cancer since last January.  

The first ways my mom and dad fought was by a change of diet and mom drinking vitamin packed shakes mixed.My parents are both storng people of faith and they sure applied that daily!!!  Mom has "healing verses" that she read every day!  

A number of months in she finally went back to another doctor who referred them to an oncologist.  The oncologist got her on a chemo pill (less side effects then regular chemo) and the herceptin drip (a cancer killing drug.)  

My mom went to the oncologist today and the oncologist told them the news that she is in remission. My mom wondered if she could stop taking her chemo pills (since they did bother her some) and the doctor said she could!  

Thank you Jesus! that my beautiful special mom is in remission!!! Mom just had her 60th birthday on June 2nd on Sunday.  This news of remission is almost another type of birthday!  A new start with no cancer symptoms!  This is day one of remission!!  Today is the first day of the rest of her life!!!

...a letter to my mom

Dear Mom,

Today is mother’s day.  I am 3 plus hours away.  I do not get to see you today.  But that doesn't mean I’m not thinking about you.  I think about you and my heart hurts a bit.  You mean a lot to me. 

The day God decided to place me in your womb that’s when you became my mother.  That was over 31 years ago.  I know it wasn't easy for you having one baby after the next. (being as I was baby number three.)  I know you and Dad didn't have a lot.  You and dad decided to have me in a trailer. It’s such a great story! 

You told me recently that you had the verse “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” as your verse when you were giving birth to me.  That’s such a great verse for me too.  The verse that brought me into the world is the verse the can get me through this life. 

I was the first girl! You and Dad were so excited!  You were your mother’s first girl and I was your first girl.  In many ways I am like you.  I think you’ve passed some of your weaknesses like stubbornness and being too conscientious on to me ;) but also your strengths like stubbornness (hehe) and being a prayer warrior on to me.  I’ve been told that I’m a lot like you.  You are a strong woman mom, a strong woman of God and a strong family woman.

I know for years I've struggled with my relationship with you.  I know you and Dad did your best in raising us, your kids.  I know you've been sorry for ways where I was hurt growing up.  Your regret and even tears over that is pretty special.  Many parents aren't soft and open like that.  Thank you for wishing that you’d loved me more.  I know in some ways you've tried to make it up to me.  Thank you for that. I remember those moments, those moments of deliberately doing something to show me that you love me.  Like little gifts just to show me that you love me. 

Last year in January you were diagnosed with stage 3 cancer.  Boy did that suck! I had just started orientation in college.  I was under it emotionally and a little depressed. I was under a cloud.  I was passive and stuck in my attitude toward the diagnoses. It was hard to deal with having my mom diagnosed with cancer.  I was afraid of that diagnoses.  A friend said something about it that made me mad but it kicked me in the butt emotionally to get some of my fight back.

 

Your faith and your fight through the diagnoses is awesome to see.  You are dealing with such a serious medical problem but you still take time and energy for your kids and your husband.  So many times I’ve called you for a listening ear and encouragement about my personal issues (and you’re the one fighting cancer, not me).  Cancer doesn't take away the fact that you are still one of my number one go to people, that you are still my mom.  You understand my weaknesses, you don’t judge me for them and you have ministered to me many many times.  You have spoken verses to me with conviction and strength and also prayed so many times for me.

Having you diagnosed with cancer has made you feel more valuable to me.  Sometimes I think about you and I know in that moment what you are dealing with and it makes me feel like crying.  You are a beautiful person. Physically you have a lovely face.  Your inner person is one of spiritual steel but also gentle in love toward me.

Thank you for your love over the years. Thank you for your faithfulness to your family and to Dad and to your faith.  Even though we have definitely bumped heads, and we are very different in many ways, and very similar in others, I want to be like you in your faithfulness and and love for your family. I want to also be strong in faith like you.  You are tenacious in your faith in speaking positive while fighting this battle.  I tell many people that I don’t worry much about you because of the way you and dad are dealing with it.  That is a tribute to the strength and faith you have in God and the way you are handling it as individuals.

 

I love you a lot mom.  I know I haven’t always shown it but I do.  You mean a lot to me.  You are special to me and I’m thankful for the strength you are to me!

Your oldest girl,

Marie Angeline

His workmanship

Here is the second installment of art I've created on a touch screen computer.  I've never been much for really abstract types of art but creating on a computer, my fingers touching the smooth glass of the touch screen, it's a different story.  Its actually soothing to create on this computer.

I'm reminded that our life is a like a work of art.  Kind of cliché right?  But it really is.  In Ephesians God is the creator of us, "His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works."  As an artist, the word "workmanship" really speaks to me.  I am his "Art work"  that He created and is molding and shaping even now.    And as something that He created he wants me to also create. Through a synergistic relationship with Him, MY creator, he wants his creative energy to flow through me. 

I'm reminded of Jim Elliot who said that he felt God's pleasure when he ran.  He said this statement when his sister was trying to persuade him to go to the mission field right away.  She did not see the "spiritual"  value of him running in the Olympics.  Jim knew he was good at running and he knew God created him to run.  Therefore when he ran he experienced his creator's pleasure.

When we do what Jesus created us to do,  He is pleased.  We may feel His pleasure. 

Another real part of creating a piece of art is mistakes.  Many people when drawing, painting or just doing life feel like they totally messed up when they make a mistake.  I have told art students and told peers that mistakes in art are opportunities.  An artist that lives in a state of grace while creating knows that a "mistake" is not the end of the piece but an opportunity to add something a little different then what they expected. The mistake may add another layer of texture of a detail that makes the art even better. 

I feel like that is how we should look at life.  Look at your mistakes, your so-called failures or inability to "measure-up" as opportunities for THE Artist to create something different and beautiful in your life. 

Some of the most beautiful art has very light colors and very dark colors.  There is a lot of contrast.  And so maybe it is with us,  we have BRIGHT times of great joy and victory and dark times of struggle and self doubt.  Maybe it's all a part of the great masterpiece God is creating from your life.  The dark times are not mistakes but the backdrop to the bright days of greater beauty God wants to display in your life. 

Remember YOU ARE HIS WORKMANSHIP! You are his piece of Art work, his greatest masterpiece.  He promises to make beauty from ashes and to work all things together for our good.  To take our mistakes and failures and make them "work" into the canvas of our lives.

p.s. Click on the pictures to see them larger!

ART works

sun burst

Eve

fire burst

 

flower burst

 

I've had the opportunity to create these works of art while at work. I drew all of these on a touch computer screen.  It's been really relaxing to draw each of these. 

 

I like how some of the paint really looks real. 

 

Enjoy!  Let me know which is your favorite!

the way of Love

I was on a path, all by myself.  I was single and alone but with my Lord.  Then God brought someone into my life... he was on the other side of the bridge... he waved me over and offered me his hand.  

My own path was to my left and the bridge was to my right... I had to make a choice. I could stay on my path, the one that God and I were walking alone or cross the bridge. I could place my hand into his hand and walk with him.  I took a deep breath, the assuring presence of my Lord at my side, and with shaking legs crossed that bridge grabbed his hand and took the way of Love. 

We are now entering February.  The month of "Luuuve."  This will be my first ever Valentine's day with a boyfriend.  We have been together together since Nov. 29th. So a little over two months.

This is all so new to me.  I talk to friends and say that I'm on a "learning curve."  Bruno is my first everything. Romantic love is wonderful.  But I know it's not the end all.  We are in a serious relationship called "Courtship" to see if we should marry.  It is in both our hearts and desires that that is how it ends...or should I say begins?  Because marriage is a beginning.  

I do love him.  I can feel it in my gut.  Sometimes it almost hurts.  I have cared for and in my own way loved other guys but it wasn't like this.  Most of the time it wasn't mutual.  A couple of times there was a mutual interest but there was no commitment.  Romantic love should definitely have a level of commitment involved.

Our whole focus is not just the romantic side.  We are growing in a relationship as spiritual beings and emotional beings and as just regular humans.  He loves football, I'm not a huge fan.  He's 38 I'm 31.  He's a man, I'm a woman. (Some BIG differences come with that card!)  He absolutely loves business, alot of what he knows about business I'm clueless on.  I read, he likes to listen to teachings or educational shows. We have some really big differences in just who we are as individuals.  

I am growing! as a person, as a spiritual being.  Growing in self awareness in relationship to another human being.  Sometimes I feel a little lost wondering is this what a relationship is suppose to look like!?  For real! Hehe!

He is my first!  He is my first boyfriend.  First person that I've romantically told "I love you," and heard it back. He is the first guy that I've ever held hands with, written a love letter to, received a love letter from and   gotten a dozen roses from.  

Honestly this has been scary too.  Because I know the seriousness of what we are doing.  We are in a preliminary relationship to see if the other one is our "forever."  If the Lord wills we will marry and it will be for a LIFETIME.  We will never use the "d" word, divorce.  That is not how we "roll."  A lot of prayer has and is going into this.  We pray every time we are together and almost every day if we aren't together.  

I have asked friends and family for counsel and received a lot of prayer from them also.  I've also started meeting with someone that has been married for over 20 years, a christian older lady friend.  I feel I cannot figure this out on my own.  I lean into the Lord for his guidance.   Ultimately Bruno and I want and seek after God's best.  Our tag line has been "Lord willing."  When we say "Lord willing" we are talking about marriage, if the Lord wills we will marry some day.  But in the mean time we are taking one day at a time, seeking His face and hand. His timing, his doors to be opened or closed.  

I love this passionate, intense natured man in a number of ways.  He is my friend "phileo,"  I love him with romantic love "eros" and we are growing in "agape," unconditional love through Christ who saved us.

Romantic love brings a fire to a relationship but the agape love of Christ, on which we both stand, is what would bring a love relationship through the tests of time.  

"...but the greatest of these is love." 1st Cor. 13:13

winter walk with Bruno

-by Bruno-

-by Bruno-

-by Bruno-

by Bruno (can you see the church?)

it took multiple shots to finally get Bruno airbound! hehe

Bruno came and visited my family and I while I was home for an end of the year vacation.  He took a train into Culpeper and I picked him up.  One of my favorite memories was when we took a walk down the country lane down from my parents house.  I froze my poor man out, remember he is originally from the Bahamas! 

We enjoyed each other and took a lot of pictures as we walked. You can see some of the great shots Bruno took too.  When we got home it took, honestly, like 10 minutes for my poor man to fully warm up.  

Thanks Babe, this was one of the highlights of when you visited and  met my family!

How I met Bruno

I have a boyfriend! Wow! Finally at the RIPE age of 30 God allowed a man into my life who has passionately and intentionally pursued me and is pursuing me.  His heart and life is the Lord's.  We both believe that God brought us together. 

Many people wonder "How" I met him.

It all started through a dating website. Yup.  Kinda ironic since I tried to meet other guys that way in the past.  Even more ironic was that I wasn't using this certain website "properly." I was on Christian Mingle with a FREE profile/membership.  When it's free you can't message people or do much on the site.  You can see people and send them "smiles," tiny little notes with a smileyface emoticon.  I had had a 6 month membership to E harmony a couple years ago and nothing came of that.  It was all about God's timing and guidance to the person HE had for me. Not me "trying" to make it happen.

I hardly ever went on my Christian Mingle profile but I logged on sometime at the end of October.  I went through all my "smiles" from tons of guys.  A smile will say something like "I noticed you noticing me." or "Your profile brought a smile to my face." I don't know, just little tiny notes to put a lot of "hooks" out into the proverbial sea of available fish. 

I received a smile from a young man with the username "Mantino1." He sent the smile on June 28th and I finally opened it in October.  The smile said "I'd enjoy getting to know you better-interested?"  The young man was from Lynchburg.  I looked through his photos.  It was weird because he looked like a young man from the singles group that I had been attending at an area church.

I did some investigating.  Ok, "facebook stalking"!  I looked through Cam's facebook friends, who is the leader of the singles group.  He was "friends" with a young man named Bruno.  In Bruno's pictures was one picture that was practically the same as one of the profile pictures of Mantino1.   Same angle, straight on head shot with different color backgrounds.  I was like, I think it's the same guy!  I sent Bruno a note, this is what it said:

Hey so this is a weird message. But I'm kinda on Christian Mingle and I got a "smile" from a "Mantino" and he totally looks like you and he's from Lynchburg too. I like never go on Christian Mingle... but got on this evening, I don't have a subscription but have a profile.

Is that you? The question is, are you "Mantino." I go to Radical on Wednesdays and I think I've seen you.

If you are not "Mantino" than totally disregard this message!

thanks, Marie

I waited and he did not respond.  I sent the note on Oct. 22nd.  Wed. the 24th was the next time I'd see him. 

At the end of the Bible study I talked to my friend Donna and was unsure about going up to him and talking.  She encouraged me but also said I didn't have to, I was nervous.  And if he wasn't on the site I'd be even more embarressed.  I think some people think doing dating sites is kinda silly. 

I got my courage up and walked up to Bruno, who was poised with a vacuum cleaner in his hand to clean up after the bible study. (This man has a heart to serve others.)  I asked him about the dating site and he was Mantino!  One thing that was attractive to me right off the bat was that he mentioned that he was in "the word" all the time with his roommate, "...even at the grocery store..." etc.  I was like "yeah!"  My faith is one of the most important things to me.  I WANT a man that the Bible is important to.

When I was talking to him it seemed as if his face was "twinkling."  He seemed attracted to me already and I was like "huh?! this is weird. Why is he already attracted??"  He mentioned going out to coffee sometime.  (We later communicated via FB and set up a day of when to go.)  At the end of the conversation this big guy gave me a side hug.  I remember I was wearing my big geeky college kid glasses, hair back in a pony tail and no make up. 

We met for the first time that night Oct. 24th at a singles bible study over a vacuum cleaner. :) 

A few of the God things. Around the time that Bruno sent me the smile, in June, he was going through some hard times.  It was almost as if God threw out a blessing for the future through that small gesture of a Christian Mingle "smile."  Bruno had had it in his heart to meet me.  He was aware of me at the Bible Study and prayed to meet me.  He had also prayed with a group of believers on Monday the 22nd that he would meet the person God had for him...I walked up to him 2 days later.  He had wanted to meet me... had prayed in that direction and then I walked up to him because of a smile he had sent me about 4 months previously.  Wow!  I see God's fingerprints on the way that Bruno and I met. 

It's amazing to be in a relationship with a Godly man.  One who prays with me and talks things through. One who shows me, through the way he serves me, that he loves me.  I thank God for Bruno Mantino. 

After putting Bruno through a month of being "just friends" he called my dad and asked him if he could court me. Dad said yes!  Bruno and I became "officially official" on November 29th.  I'm thankful that he smiled at me... I found it... that I stalked him on FB then got the courage to go up to him over a vacuum cleaner and asked "are you Mantino?"  In a nutshell that's how I met Bruno!

Reflection

"The beginning of love 

is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, 

and not to twist them to fit our own image. 

Otherwise we love only the reflection

 of ourselves we find in them." 

Thomas Merton 

"My role in society, 

or any artist's or poet's role,

 is to try and express what we all feel. 

Not to tell people how to feel. 

Not as a preacher, not as a leader,

 but as a reflection of us all." 

John Lennon 

"The air we breathe,

 the water we drink, and the land we inhabit

 are not only critical elements in the quality of life we enjoy 

- they are a reflection of the majesty of our Creator."

Rick Perry 

Pictures by Marie Parker and Kelly. 

copyright 2012