spring flowers on Sunday

steve madden leather pumps: $2 thrifted

tights: Gabriel brothers

skirt: $3 Worthington (?) recently thrifted!

button up (Target): Thrifted  $3

Old Navy jean jacket: $25 on sale

beaded/seed necklaces: Jamaica and thrifted

turquoise pendant necklace: Vintage from Grammie

hooped earrings: $5 Forever 21 

I wore this outfit to church a few weeks ago on Sunday and thought I'd post it today.  Don't you like my spring flowery shirt!?

The weather is being finicky. We've had some beautiful warm days and then we've had some pretty yucky snow/wet/rain soon after.  It's beautiful today but has been cold.

Life continues to be crazy.  Maybe sometime I'll refer back to this and explain more.  Let me say these last 3 or 4 months of my life have been some of the hardest.  But I know my Lord and I know God is with me.  

It shows me how transient life is.  More and more my heart ties are being transferred to heaven.  There is a peace that I feel. But my heart hurts sometimes.  Sometimes I just hurt.

In Steal Magnolias one of the ladies says, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."  That touches on some of what I've been going through, what I'm trying to say. (I think I assumed that when I would face loss  my world would be completely upside down. That inside it'd be the end of the world. It isn't.) My heart hurts. There's pain and grief but I'm also soo full of life. And those around me are full of life. There's love around me in my friends and family and in My God.  I do smile and laugh, but sometimes I cry.

I think there's a cleansing of the self that happens sometimes through grief. It clarifies things. It's like after it rains the air seems more clear and crisp. But when it's raining it's cold and wet, and that's all you feel, the rain; the tears running down your face. But, the sun comes out and it shows you that the grass is green and there is still life.  With grief though those clouds hang over you for awhile.

And the rain comes sometimes when you don't expect it.  Something reminds you of that person, and it hurts.  I think my tears come, this time around, more when I remember them. When their is a memory which stirs my love for that person, and then it hurts.  Your heart is living, and pulsing with love. And when part of it is taken away, and you touch on that part it hurts. And the tears fall.

I think in times like this our grief and our love bleed together. There are memories that bring joy, which touches on our love, which in turn brings us to tears.