Thursday, October 19, 2006

Back to normal?

I wrote this Oct. 18...enjoy

ahhh, feel kinda yucky. I'm back from Thailand. Got home Monday...had to think about which day I came in a bit. Went to bed Monday night late, 3ish maybe and slept in till 7 the next day. Well 7 pm, without hardly waking up! When I woke up I thought it was morning! For real. Went to bed last night like close to 5 am. Got up when it was still day today like 1:30...I'm improving with my sleep cycle.

It's weird being back. Thailand was my life for 3 months. Those students at the school were my life. It was hard to say goodbye to them. I've cried a number of times since....

Now it's like what's next. It's weird being back in American culture. I came home and the house felt small and it was like we have so many things. The school I was at had like 12 foot ceilings and there wasn't tons of extra stuff there.

The students were like refugees...they don't own alot. I also went to one of the Refugee camps 3 times. They live in bamboo huts. There's almost no furniture, well ok maybe one chair or one table in the differnt families homes. Makes me think, "What is important?" Haven't figured it out yet.

Hmmm....kinda confusing. I felt really good over there alot. Some of the best time of my life. But there were times where it was really hard. Moreso at the beginning. Alot of americans came through which was a huge help and blessing. Otherwise I was the only English as a first (and only language) person at the school.

The school was surrounded by Rice paddies on the edge of Thailand about one mile from Burma. The kids are from the Karen and Karenni nations. They are people that the Burmese milatary has been fighting since WWII. It's an internal civil war that tons of people don't know about. I think alot of the fighting, killing raping, razing of villages happens more in the jungles, away from cities.

Some of the kids lost parents because of this war. A coupla sisters, Moo Nay Paw and P'zaw Paw's parents were killed by the Burmese Milatary. Moo Nay Paw and P'zaw Paw or Andrew and Joy are beautiful young woman. Ahhh, they make me smile as I think of them.

so I have to figure things out to an extent...where do I fit into this life. I want to make my life count and not just stay in one place treading water.

I am dealing with jet lag, new culture, new weather. Thailand is like a tropical climate.... 3 months of humidity and heat...thins the blood. I was shivering at the Ca. airport from the AC. I was COLD....

I like to write alot. I also keep a journal. I have many journals...even one filled up Thailand journal and another that I started over there, volume II.

My brother just called from Tx. He told me to take a walk. He said inactivity weakens the spirit...ok...hmmm....I agree with him I would benefit from a walk:)....

oh I am sluggish today.....adjusting......pray for my adjusting to "normal life." I wonder if eventually I'll just fall back into normalancy...I want to be changed..... I think deep inside I'll have changes.

I do love 31 kids in Thailand. They may not belong to any country but they have a place, in my heart.


Mrs. RF said...

Welcome home....will be praying for the adjusting, and the next steps.

lis said...

I know a little bit of how you feel. Praying for you!

melbrown said...

Glad you're back, Marie, though I know all the mixed feelings must be pretty confusing and hard. I think that we ARE changed by things, deep inside like you said, even if we can't always define or feel the change. Your experiences and the people you met in Thailand will always be woven into your life, no matter what the next step is. I love you!! And I'll be praying too.

Marie said...

Thank you everyone for your comments, keep praying for physical adjustment...I'm having major jet lag or something. Very tired right now... sunday night at 9:10 pm...boy....:)

Shay Dawg said...

Welcome back home Marie. Glad you had a safe trip and i'll pray your adjusting will go well. We know how hard it can be sometimes.

Melanie said...

Hey Marie!
My name is Melanie. I stumbled on your blog when I typed in P'Zaw Paw on google. I had the chance to meet her and her sister and her friends in 2005 and 2006, when my high school class took a ministry trip up to the orphangae for one weekend in each year. I am working on figuring things out to where I can go and live and study in teh refugee camp to experience what life is like and to be prepared to write a thesis paper on their situation. I'm very excited about it. I was wondering if you could tell me some of your experiences about your time over there, and if you could let me know how you got there, and what kind of steps I would have to take. It helps that my family lives in Chiang Mai. I look forward to hearing from you! My email is Talk to you later! Thanks so much for your help!