I have a new section in my Etsy shop called "CLEARANCE." These are pieces I've had for a long time and would like to move out of my shop, into a new home. Everything in the clearance is $10 or less! I have also created a coupon for you to "Save Even More"!! And save an additional 10%. Enter this code when you check out: SAVEEVENMORE
Take advantage of these sales :)! And come see me in my Etsy shop, especially if you haven't stopped by before.
I have been busy recently! I worked 9plus hours Monday caring for a new client of mine. Tuesday was my 10am to 5pm day. Then yesterday I cared for the new client 11 hours and 15 mins! I am tired. I felt like I could go to bed around 7:30. I am normally a night owl so that tells you I'm dragging. Monday night I got a whooping headache. I had gone to a Valentine's party night at the singles bible study I go to, after the 9 hour plus day.
I need to be getting more/better quality sleep if I'm gonna be doin' these marathon days.
I went thrifting today for decor for my sisters wedding. I found some stuff! She will be decorating with jewel tone vases/jars and some mason jars. Kinda a Moulin Rouge/French feel with peacock feathers and jewel toned colors. Oh la la!!
I got this Benton striped boat neck shirt recently at a thrift store. I like Benton stripes :) And I LOVE these ballet flats I picked up today! I've wanted red flats for awhile. I have a pair of red canvas Red dogs flats.... but they aren't girly like these.
My dad named this blog post. It gave me chills when he suggested it because of what we've experienced with losing our loved one. "Shadowlands" is also a movie about the life and love of C.S. Lewis. His wife dies from cancer. Here's a poignant quote from the movie.
"Why love, if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore: only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I've been given the choice: as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal."
-Jack, from the movie Shadowlands
I was thinking of calling it "Light and Shadow." My dad thought that was boring. Shadowlands plays into the pictures. With the shadow and light. In the last 2 pics I feel like I echo my surroundings. My burnished hair is like the golden sun on the trees behind me and my outfit and skirt are like the black and white of the snow, dead branches and footprints.
Today was a better day. I worked for hours on my sisters invitations. Got to hang out with her for awhile. (smile :) I was inspired by another blog to pull out this dress and layer a sweater over it. It's cream on the top, which doesn't go well with my complexion. But turning it into a skirt works. And it's fun.
I've realized that a shorter skirt length works better on me. I will still be modest. In some ways modesty is relative. There's certain ways of dressing I just don't feel comfortable with. But I'm not as conservative as I used to be.
I actually grew up only wearing skirts and culottes (aka baggy long shorts.) I've been on a journey the last few years of walking in more freedom In Christ. I know there are girls and guys on here that are from all walks of life. I can understand the more conservative or even "orthodox" way of dressing. I've been there. But I've really enjoyed being more relaxed and able to explore more ways of dressing since I've come into more personal freedom.
I started wearing pants/jeans in my early 20's. I also got my ears pierced when I was 20. I've realized that when I wore skirts all the time I actually judged girls that wore pants. In some ways I felt better then them. More holy or something.
I have also realized I'm the same person. It's only clothing. I feel the same inside. I feel like I can relate to the world better. I'm not so different. I know we are to live lives that look different. But I also personally feel that if I'm too different they won't feel they can relate to me.
This is the journey that God has me on. I know that some of you won't agree and that's OK. We're all at different places in life. I believe we can all love and respect each other, and agree to disagree. I think ultimately it comes down to love. Can I accept someone even if they dress differently and believe differently than I do?
A lot, a lot, a lot has been happening in my life. I can't even share all of it on here. Today I've been on the computer for hours. My way to escape.
Here's a list of some of the different things that have happened.
My first cousin Nathan Holscher died on Jan. 23rd. He was 18
I turned 29 on the 26th
I didn't have much of a birthday... yet
practically snowed in, near my job on my birthday
Drove up to Mass. with my brother to the funeral Friday. Drove back Monday.
Saw my Aunt Heidi, who I haven't seen for years!
had another family "surprise" when I got home
my mom's been sick
my client has some worrisome issues
It's a neat little list here. But inside it's not so neat. Life has been DIFFICULT. Draining. Scary. Hard. Maybe you can see it in my face in some of my pics. Do I look a little hard, serious or sad? Sometime I may write more about my cousin's passing. It's not a neat little package. It's soo very poignant when someone's life ends. Especially if it prematurely ends. It is devastating. To his mother. To his father. To his brothers and extended family. To his friends. They were effected so deeply. Their grief is so fierce.
Then in my own personal world at home. Life has been DIFFICULT. Draining.
I still have more processing to do with Nathan's death. I feel a bit mad at God. God also isn't in a neat little package. Maybe my processing with God will lead to an emotional release. So right now I think I'll keep him at arms length. To come in contact with what's going on in my heart is something I do avoid sometimes.
Then in my work. My "old lady" is in the last stages of her life. I've had some incidences with her that have been scary, difficult and yes, draining.
A lot of BAD things have been happening. I can list something and say, "That's bad." But there's so much good intertwined. God has given us breath and life and the ability to love. Life really sucks sometimes. But then I feel God and his love. I feel hope. I know faith.
There's been soo many people praying for our family at this time. Maybe the most amount of people that have ever prayed for our family (at least in a long time.) The other time may have been when my Uncle Dana was killed when he was 19. (But they didn't have Facebook back then. I think this is the most people that have been praying for our family at one time.)
This weekend was actually one of the best weekends I've had in a long time. It was very special at times. Spending quality time with family. Reaching out with God's love to one of Nathan's best friends. Celebrating Nathan's life.
The support I got from family while up in New England about what's going on with my family in VA was great. This weekend even though shadowed with scary emotions and pain was peaceful.
I know that I won't live here on the earth forever. I like living with that illusion. But it's only an illusion. There is more than this. But right now I am in "this." I am only human. There are times I will "waste" time. But I want to stop being in "idle." I want to pursue life more. That's one thing that I've learned through this tragedy.
At times in life you can't neatly draw a line and say that side is black and that side is white. Because there are so many different shades and colors to life. The deep deep red of pain, but it's mixed with the deep deep red of love. It hurts so much because we love so much. The honeyed tones of family that turns into a chocolate brown of contentedly watching another family member at peace and content. The bright bouncing colors of laughter, as we remember some of the crazy things Nathan would do. The deep blues of tears and the release it brings, yet cold in it's loneliness. The evergreen of HOPE, of eternity, of LIFE! We know where Nathan is. He is ALIVE and very very well. (I wore bright green for the memorial service. His mom complimented me on the color of my dress.She said something like this, "I like Evergreen. It means eternal life")