Wednesday, February 02, 2011


cardigan: Gabriel brothers
silk dress worn as a skirt: Target
black fishnets: Gabriel Brother's
blue tights (under fishnets): Gabriel Brother's
cream knee high socks: Gabriel Brother's
grey leather boots: thrifted $2
jeweled bling bling hoop earrings: Texas store $1

My dad named this blog post. It gave me chills when he suggested it because of what we've experienced with losing our loved one.  "Shadowlands" is also a movie about the life and love of C.S. Lewis. His wife dies from cancer.  Here's a poignant quote from the movie.

"Why love, if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore: only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I've been given the choice: as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal."

-Jack, from the movie Shadowlands 

I was thinking of calling it "Light and Shadow." My dad thought that was boring. Shadowlands plays into the pictures.  With the shadow and light.  In the last 2 pics I feel like I echo my surroundings. My burnished hair is like the golden sun on the trees behind me and my outfit and skirt are like the black and white of the snow, dead branches and footprints. 

Today was a better day.  I worked for hours on my sisters invitations. Got to hang out with her for awhile. (smile :)  I was inspired by another blog to pull out this dress and layer a sweater over it.  It's cream on the top, which doesn't go well with my complexion. But turning it into a skirt works.  And it's fun.  

I've realized that a shorter skirt length works better on me.  I will still be modest.  In some ways modesty is relative.  There's certain ways of dressing I just don't feel comfortable with.  But I'm not as conservative as I used to be.  

I actually grew up only wearing skirts and culottes (aka baggy long shorts.)  I've been on a journey the last few years of walking in more freedom In Christ.  I know there are girls and guys on here that are from all walks of life. I can understand the more conservative or even "orthodox" way of dressing. I've been there.  But I've really enjoyed being more relaxed and able to explore more ways of dressing since I've come into more personal freedom.  

I started wearing pants/jeans in my early 20's. I also got my ears pierced when I was 20.  I've realized that when I wore skirts all the time I actually judged girls that wore pants. In some ways I felt better then them.  More holy or something.  

I have also realized I'm the same person. It's only clothing. I feel the same inside.  I feel like I can relate to the world better. I'm not so different. I know we are to live lives that look different. But I also personally feel that if I'm too different they won't feel they can relate to me.  

This is the journey that God has me on.  I know that some of you won't agree and that's OK. We're all at different places in life.  I believe we can all love and respect each other, and agree to disagree. I think ultimately it comes down to love.  Can I accept someone even if they dress differently and believe differently than I do? 

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