Saturday, October 17, 2009
Soo I found this "Leslie Kay Sportswear" vest the other day. It was kinda crazy because when I shopped at where I shop for my vintage finds I ended up buying all blue items. It was crazy!
I got a blue long wool (VINTAGE) Herman Kay coat, a pair of crazy cobalt blue swede boots, blue heels and this blue vest:) My "blue day..." I look good in cobalt blue;) I do like the shock of blue that some of these pieces bring.
I've admired blue glass for years. The vibrancy and aliveness of this color. It's very rich.
So I named this vest, "add a little plaid"... and I have it paired with my "million hearts" women's blouse.
I picked up from lookin' at a blog on vintage stlye to match 2 different patterns together. The way to do it is to have one pattern "quieter" than the other pattern. With the "million hearts" blouse it picks up on the red in the vest with the tiny understated bright red hearts.
I've also been checking out this one store, "Mod Cloth" click on the link: http://www.modcloth.com/store
It's super cool! And the clothes are either vintage or vintage feel by new designers. Someday I may splurge and buy something from that shop.
(this is some of my late night ramblings to the empty void of virtual land.... I'm home alone tonight and kinda lonely, but excited about fashion, and vintage and my etsy shop etc...)
These are a pair of boots I want to buy sometime. I saw them on a girl at the local Maurices and I told her, "this is kinda random but I love your boots, where did you get them?" And she said they were from right there. They were Maurice boots. Soo when I have some money saved up, or for christmas I want to get these boots! You'll haveta click on the link to see 'em... and I like 'em in "cognac!!" http://www.maurices.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3754529
This is definately late night ramblings...it's 2:34am... I don't stay up this late often. But everyone from the "fam" is gone tonight. I'm loving my alone time...
Some thoughts for you. Do not try to manipulate your life, or control it... trust God with it...with every step. If he seems to "take" something from you view it through the eyes of eternity, or the bigger picture. There are times where he may keep you from a relationship/ or remove you from a relationship because HE knows that person is not good for you or His best. (I learned that from Corrie Ten Boom in her book "Tramp for the Lord" (buy it here: http://product.half.ebay.com/Tramp-for-the-Lord_W0QQtgZinfoQQprZ269256) Of course this doesn't apply across the board to everything. For example divorce. I believe once you are married it is God's will for you to stay with that person, etc...
We get hurt and disappointed when God removes things from our lives, especially relationships. Relize everything God does is with a touch of love. He allows things to happen, the good and the bad... realize He will work ALL THINGS for your good if you love and follow Him.
When he doest start writing a story, or writing you towards your destiny it will blow your mind. He wants to give us beyond what we ask or think. A big key to having that story written for you is WAITING for His timing. That means if you get impatient you better not try and make something happen, especially what YOU think should happen. Because you will get less than you really want. He is the "author and finisher" of our faith. Ultimately that will lead us to the "ending" of "they lived happily ever after" in heaven if you know Jesus but I also think it applies to our lives here and now. Let Him, Let Jesus write the faith journey of your life. When you are NOT in control you don't know what will happen. When the ultimate outcome is left in your saviors hands, you're not calling the shots. That is scary, that means there are alot of unknowns. The best atitude to take is "thy will be done." He knows best, so let Him do best. He WILL make "ALL things beautiful in its time." But the key is timing.
I think for us singles it's especially hard. May I venture to say more hard for women?... Which I could easily see the case that it's just as hard for guys, but in a different way. Us women want to be married and alot of us have waited for a LONG time. Some of us LONGER than we ever wanted to or expected.
I've wanted to get married since I was 17 years old!! That is 10 years, going on 11 years! I didn't expect to be the one in my family to get married older than most in my family. Ok my parents were 23 and 24 I think. My grandparents on both sides were younger than I am now. Both my brothers were younger than me when they got married.
I am tired of hearing "you're still young." Ok that is the truth... but I'm not as young as I expected to be and to be married. And too if you haven't been an "older single" you can't understand the pain, heartache, frustration, broken dreams... deferred dreams that we go through. I know people are trying to encourage us when they tell us that, "you're still young."
I've learned that it's really encouraging for older people, older women to come alongside us and tell us "this must be hard for you." And not try to put a band aid on it. To be allowed to hurt as we wait... and not be cuffed in the chin with the encouragement to "keep your chin" up is showing understanding that we don't always get from people. I've know I've had some encouragement along that lines and it meant alot to me. It was a balm to my heart, because I could feel her love. And my heart was safe to feel pain. Not questioned and encouraged to hide the feelings even deeper, almost as if you shouldn't be feeling this way. Which as a single I know many of you do feel this way.
I know God has timing. And for some reason He has kept me single and not married until the "ripe age" of 27. I don't know when the "fufillment of time" for me will be. God does!! (Well wine gets better with age, so I guess I must too.)
I am more at peace now with my singleness than I used to be. There are many guys that I cared for... and kinda tried to get to know....but I am thankful that God closed every one of those doors. He's got better for me.
I think to get into a relationship at this point would take more courage for me than to just say "no." I have been disappointed over and over again. There are lies in my head that tell me, "you're not good enough" "you're not pretty enough" "why would someone want me?" I think these lies or thoughts can be compounded into our minds sometimes if we are a bit older and single. "what's wrong with me, why hasn't anyone pursued me? Why have I been single soo long, or "why did it never work out"
When it does happen for some of us it will be more of a leap of faith than for others. I know for me it will. Since I've never been in a relationship I will have to trust God to lead that guy to pursue me. And trust that God will give me someone I can trust my heart with. That's scary to think about. That there is some man somewhere with whom I will be vulnerable with. Guys for us girls there's a fear of rejection too. A fear that what we feel and who we are deep inside isn't something you want to know. That we're too emotional, too soft, too sensitive that you won't know how to handle us. Especially initially as we get to know you. We do put walls up because we don't want to be hurt. (Ok this may not apply to all women, but I'm talkin' from my own heart hear.) There's a reason that God spoke of women as the weaker vessel. Part of it is that who we are inside... the vulnerable side of us is delicate.
I got a picture when I was with YWAM in NYC. Ok God is our father right. And he knows when "christmas" will come. "Christmas", you know when the time is right to bring that guy into our lives. But He won't give us christmas in July.... and He knows when it's coming... why are we worried and wringing our hands. Thinking "God's holding out on me!" When actually the time is just not right. It'd be weird to get a Christmas present on Easter right?! There is a time and a day and a season for everything that God has for us. Also I got the picture that He is excited about giving us this gift! He's got something special up his sleeve! "Every good and perfect gift comes down from the father of lights..." It may just be the planning, preparation time for God right now. He does work behind the scenes. He's setting things up... for the right time.
I've heard it all about Marriage isn't the ultimate goal... and you won't find complete fufillment in your spouse. I know and I understand all of that. Ultimately Jesus is the only one that can fill our deepest emotional needs.
But I also know what it's like to have a young women's heart. With all those longings and desires... desires that many of us keep locked way down inside. Throbing desires that we don't even want to look at because it hurts to much. The desire to marry and the desire to have children. God has wired us for marriage. God has wired us to be mothers. For most women I believe it is God's heart to have us married. I've heard it said if you don't desire marriage than you have the gift of celibacy.
Remember God does give us the desires of our hearts. I believe when we follow him He places in us desires for things he wants to fufill. But we can't hold them soo tightly and give God orders of how He will do it. Tell God what you want, but also hold loosely to "the list" that you expect your man to fufill. God has bigger and better plans for you than you can imagine. I've picked that up from some wiser older women in my life recently. If you hold sooo tightly to your own expectations you may miss or not see "THE BEST" God is wanting to give you.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths."
As a mentor of mine said "You can't mess it up when you're trusting God. And even if you do mess it up, He knows how to fix it."
Relax in the process and let the "author of your faith" write your life story. He knows what he is doing!