my testimony...

I just typed this up for some application... wanted to post it. Here's my testimony. From me. The real deal.

my testimony...

My journey with God started when I was very young. I was 5 or 6 years old. At that time there was a lot I didn't understand. As I've grown my understanding has been enlarged... and enlightened. Over the yeares I have become more captivated with God and His Son, Jesus.

My dad was the one that led me into a relationship with Jesus, at least the building blocks of one when I was 5 or 6. At that time I asked Jesus into my heart and asked him to take away my sins... He is my Lord and Savior. I do believe he took away my sins on the cross and He gives me new life, He brought my soul to life. Only because of Jesus will I go to heaven. I believe that. That is my confession.

I have fallen and stumbled many times. But over and over I go to God and confess and he forgives me. He knows and understands everything, he knows why I get angry. Why I'm upset. He is not surprised by anything, I do or say. And he is willing to forgive everything and anything when I turn to him.

He walks besides me every day... sometimes I will sense the Holy Spirits guidance or blessing especially in the little things...

I am learning more about him. I want to have more of a perspective on who He really is. I want to give that love and more of the true reality of who God and His Son Jesus are to the world, to individuals I rub shoulders with. I want to share the gospel of life, in Jesus, with others. That when they die they can know where they are going and for this life, that there is someone who loves and enjoys them. Who created them to be what they are, and will become under His gentle loving hand. That He is there every step of the way. That He will never leave them abandon them, or throw them out.

This has been a journey of discovery. Discovering more of God... how He loves me. That he has a purpose and destiny, a great destiny for my life. It has also been a journey of discovering who I am... the sin in my life. The ugliness... that I am not perfect. That God wants and will make me more into who He made me to be... which will reflect Christ even more.

God is working on me. Leading me gently... even though at times it's very very hard.
Because of God, walking besides me and Jesus inside me, I know where I'll end up. I know my future is in God's hands. I know He is good, no matter what happens.

I want to walk with him into the GREAT destiny He has for me. I know He has more for me, than I even imagine or sometimes even believe.

God is my Rainbow maker. He is my promise keeper. He is the one that Holds my heart and my life. Sometimes the reality of that evades me... but sometimes it rings true in my heart. Whether I feel it or not that is the reality.

"...unveiling the mystery of a Woman's Soul"

A book I'm reading is, "Captivating-Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul." By John and Stasi Eldredge, John wrote "Wild at Heart." The book I'm reading is for women, the other's for men. It's really good. I'd recommend it for the girl's out there, if you haven't read it yet. THis is my 2nd time through it. I also read "Wild at Heart," which is also very good.

Guys if you want to understand females more and better you should read it. It helps to explain a woman's heart.

Here's some quotes from the book:

"Then the time came when the risk it took

To remain tight in a bud was more painful

Than the risk it took to blossom."

-Anais Nin

"Now can you see how the desires of a man's heart and the desires of a woman's heart were at least meant to fit beautifully together? A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strenghth allows her feminine heart to flourish. His pursuit draws out her beauty. And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength. She inspires him to be a hero. Would that we all were so fortunate."

"The whole story of the Bible is a love story between God and his people. He yearns for us. He cares. He has a tender heart."

"As Tozer says, "God waits to be wanted."

"...God yearns to share a life of beauty, intimacy, and adventure with us."

"The reason a woman wants a beauty to unveil, [the essence of who she is...not really "physical" beauty], the reason she asks, Do you delight in me? is simply that God does as well. God is captivating beauty....Can there be any doubt that God wants to be worshipped? That He wants to be seen, and for us to be captivated by what we see?"-(Wild at Heart)

"Every experience of beauty points to [eternity]."-Hans Urs von Balthasar

"...The Evil One ...hates Eve because she gives life. Women give birth, not men. Women nourish life. And they also bring life into the world soulfully, relationally, spiritually-in everything they touch." We were made to give life!

Talking about why we are attacked by the Evil One...

"It changes things to realize that, no, it is because you are glorious that these things happened. It is because you are a major threat to the kingdom of darkness. Because you uniquely carry the glory of God to the world.

You are hated because of your beauty and power."

This is good!:

"A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in him, she is enough. In fact the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving."

"A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become."

"This is what it is like to be with a beautiful woman. You are free to be you. It is one of life's greatest gifts...A woman who makes herself vulnerable and available for intimacy invites others to do the same...She says to the world...,You are wanted here. We want to know you. Come in. Share yourself. Be enjoyed. Enjoy me as I share myself....A woman who is unveiling her beauty is inviting others to life...She is not demanding, but she is hopeful."

"The gift of presence is a rare and beautiful gift. To come-unguarded, undistracted-and be fully present, fully engaged with whoever we are with at that moment. Have you noticed in reading the Gospels that people enjoyed being around Jesus? They wanted to be near him-to share a meal, take a walk, have a lingering conversation. It was the gift of his presence. When you were with him, you felt he was offering you his heart. When we offer our unguared presence, we live like Jesus. And we invite others to do the same."

This ones kinda hard to hear:

"Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering. By saying, "Yes" when the world says, "No." By paying the high price of loving truly and honestly without demanding that they be loved in return."

"...it is in the waiting that our hearts are enlarged."

"And so it is with a heart awakened to its sorrow. It is more aware, more present, and more alive, to all facets of life."

So ladies borrow, or buy the book. There's some really rich "soul-food" for the taking. It's blessed my heart already a number of times. It's not just a make you feel good book... it's deep and honest.

Remember ladies everyone of you is beautiful... it's deep inside of you, and if you know God sees you as beatiful, and you live in that truth your beauty will draw others to God. It really will.

makes ya think...

Hmmm, how do I start. What do I start with?

I've subbed the last two days for the same teacher, high school English. It was fine. Enjoyed it some. Today in a coupla of the classes the story, "The Lottory" was read. In the last period we read it outloud. The ending's kinda surprising. Check it out. It's a short story. And it's pretty interesting.

This last weekend a tenth grader from the high school committed suicide. When I was asking some kids about it at first I was thinking it was a kid that I had tutored in room 37 awhile back. Room 37 is a type of special ed room. Special ed kids go there and others that need extra help. This kid I was thinking about was really big, bigger than me. To put him in a streotype he was a red neck. Blonde, very ruddy complexion. Big work boots. Jeans and a t-shirt. But I was impressed with this kid. I don't remember what his name was... anyways he didn't like it becuase another boy was bad mouthing a teacher. And this big guy didn't believe that kids should treat adults that way. That adults should be treated with respect. That blessed my heart and still does.

So when I was thinking that this big guy was the one that committed suicide I was effected. I worked with him one on one for awhile. We were the only ones in the room. And so looking back I was thinking about if I'd only said something about Jesus.... wondering if anything I said effected him toward God more.... and how maybe that time wasn't the most appropriate time to actually talk to him about Jesus. And how this kid was dead.... I was thinking about when I could possible cry after work. It upset me. It was like wow!

I only had one contact with this big lovely guy, and I thought he was gone. It effected me.

But come to find out the guy that killed himself and the guy I helped weren't the same guy. Phew...Part of me has wanted to see the guy I helped, to know for sure. The kid that took his own life I guess was smart, didn't seem like the type that had a reason to do that. He was big like the kid I worked with.

It's kinda a weird thought process to look back at an experience like that with someone you think is gone. To know you were that close and if you'd only known that he would take his life, that maybe you would've said some thing.

For the big ruddy kid still living, it would make for a good way to start talking to him about God... "Man, when I found out about that guy that killed himself, I thought he was you. It upset me. I was thinking about you going into eternity. I didn't know if you would be ready to die... I just want you to know that God loves you...." If I got a chance to talk to him I'm not sure what I'd say. It would be great to have a chance to talk to him. You could pray that I get that chance if you want... If I do that GOd will work out the details, because at school I have certain restrictions as a teacher, that makes it so I'm not allowed to talk about certaint things without the kids specifically bringing it up.

Man. When you think you know someone that took their own life it effects you... you NEVER know when someone will do that. And to think maybe you were in their life somehow, if only you had said something about God....it's enough to get you really serious, even scared... this life is really serious and the next one is so much MORE of a BIG deal. But just living regular day to day dulls the reality of that. I'd say I have alot of fear about talking to these kids about Jesus.... but if it came up in a conversation and just fit, that's how it'd be nice to talk to them about God and Jesus. When it happens naturally.

Our choices here aren't just little things that don't matter, sometimes what we choose is the difference between spiritual life and death for ourselves and others...

hmmm, such a serious subject... but this is what really matters.

Beauty for Ashes

Beauty for Ashes. Something God spoke to my heart recently. When we give him our broken dreams, the dreams that burned so strong, but now all they seem to be are ashes.... God can take that ash and turn it into beauty. Life can grow out of that deadness...that broken dream...that dream that blows away with the ashes of life. Ash is grey, lifeless, powder and dead.... it smells dry, like empty lifeless hope....that caved in under the crushing heel of reality. In our hands we hold the ash....it slips through our fingers, and blows away with the wind...

Look closely though at this burned out shell of a dream... There's something there? Some color...chills run up and down my spine and I realize His promises are sure.... new life comes out of our ashes. New life comes out of death..."the old has been made new", "unless a grain of wheat dies..." Life from death, life out of death. Beauty for ashes...beauty instead of ash. A flower for a lifeless and broken dream....hope....

Now to totally shift gears:)

Oooooh, I'm kinda tired. Been sick recently. Took Friday off to help out our churches fund raising effort. Had cold then. It really hit me that night. Actually ate a whole garlic clove with applesause. That was a chilling experience. Garlic is suppose to help fight colds. I've had a yucky cold not too long ago and I wasn't in the mood for another. (Wanted to fight it with some Garlic. I was thinking of taking 2 cloves, but decided I had had enough with the one.) But I got another.

The worst day of my cold was Saturday.... and I'm still getting over it, but I'm not sore like I was Sat. Sat. it was like a trackter trailer had run me over, okay a pick up truck....anyways enough on the metaphors, I was SORE, and ahhhh, not alot of energy.... read alot, took a nap ....my nose ran, my eyes even ran, when I was napping(gross huh)....I existed...

It's mostly in my head literally. And on top of that my wisdom tooth has been bugging me.... ahhhh, just cut my head off until everthings back to normal than put it back on. "Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the Lord delivers them out of them all..."

So you see I'm on spring break. Great way to start spring break...I've been wondering about when I should deal with my wisdom tooth. If there's any sort of infection they give antibiotics/wait it out until you don't have any. It's minor surgery....which I am NOT looking forward too. If any one has any stories to encourage me along the line of having a wisdom tooth pulled drop me a line. I was even reading about it when I was more sick, and it didn't make me feel very good. Enough "bawling" about the yuck stuff in life, lets talk about something more positive...

Tomorrow wil be one of my highlights of the week. I'm going with Seniors from our Youth Group to Baltimore. Just talked to my youth leader, at this point there will only be 4 of us. Two seniors and myself and the Brianna, the youth chic. In Baltimore we'll be going to the aquarium and on some cool water taxi... So today to get ready for that I should go on a walk. I've been practically "comatose" these past few days.... actually I've just been really lazy, haven't had alot of energy,taking it very easy. So that tomorrow I won't pass out in exhaustion I should build my body up with a nice walk. It will help my lymph nodes too.

Anyone who hates reading about eyes should not read the next paragraph.....

I called a guy from my church Paul, he and his wife Linda run a ministry called "Hopes and Helps." Anyways Paul's been sick too. Wasn't at chruch either. I was like "I feel your pain." But he has these little polyps in his sinuses etc... and will have to get surgery sometime for them. I think one's even pressing on his optic nerve.... poor guy... pray for Paul. He was like how are they gonna get in there, pull my eye out or something? He's had them for over 20 years. He probably just thought they were some sort of sinus problem.

He and his wife LInda are celebrating their 13th wedding anniversary today. SO if you know them drop them a line or call em... He told me to wish his wife a happy anniversary if I talked to her.

I hope you're not getting tired of all my pics I've been posting. I've been a mite trigger happy recently with my digital camera. They're cool! and fun to take and to see what I've taken.

Because of being sick I've finished 2 books and totally started and finished another. One was on grace, which was really good, by Philip Yancy...the book I read from start to finish, while sick, was "The Cross and the Swithchblade." Which is a neat story. It does deal witht some pretty hard core problems kids in gangs have...just to give you a heads up. I watched the movie before I read the book. The movie is moving. It also deals with some hard core stuff. It's an eye opener to what life is like in a gang...that was like 30 plus years ago so who knows what it's even like today. It also shows the powerful move of GOd in some of the kids lives. GOd moved powerfully in David Wilkerson's life, (a preacher comfy in his church in Penn.) it all started with him putting a fleece out to God to sell his TV. And if he did sell it withing 30 mins. of the morning paper coming out he'd dedicate the time he used to watch TV to praying. So that was like 2 hours everynight from midnight to 2 am. And because of these praying times GOd started to speak to him.... and eventually as He walked step by step in obedience there was a very powerful ministry started in NY called Teen Challenge. It's in other states too. This ministry reaches out to kids in gangs, and on the streets who have drug addictions, are part of gangs...etc...

So for Marie's book list, the recommended reading is "THe Cross and the Switchblade" and watching the movie...and again the book isnt' for the faint of heart.

Happy Easter celebration week! May you connect with the Creator and the Resurrected this week in a special and personal way! And remember what we see as ashes is the medium (an artist term) God uses to sculpt beauty into our lives. Remember Beauty for Ashes.

How's the Weather?

Welcome to Virginia. One of the most scenic states in the good ole U. S. of A. ....
Enough of that "brochure" talk. Krista and I went on a walk, and it was lovely. I kept taking pictures, she didn't always like that. When you take pictures you have to stop and t a k e it, you know;) When we were coming home, (look at the pic with the road that looks dark,) we were being chased by a storm cloud. It was huge, and gray. It started raining, and the timing was perfect for us to get inside before the rain started coming down too fast.

Come and visit please. We could go on a walk down this lane and see what you see in the pics, and the whole experience is defianetly better than the pictures. Because of couse you can see so much more, and if the weather's lovely you can feel the warm breeze, and hear the brook. It's just a celebration of life and spring that washes over you.

The weather today has been lovely. It was colder this morning. But I was outside alot, later, cause I subbed for P.E. and it was windy but it was a balmy windy... than when I came home Krista and I took a walk, I was in shorts and a fleece and got warm enough to break a small sweat.

But they've said we could get snow tomorrow. I hope not. There was a possibility of quite a storm, even heard something about a tornado, but than they said something to the effect that it dissapated. We just got a little rain and now it looks nice outside. Yeah!

Enough about the weather. Ya'll should come down and experience it for yourself, plus the view helps!

(P.S. I know there's 2 pics of one of my shoots. I had trouble trying to edit it. SO at this point I'm just going to leave it be..."scuse...)

Flowers of Spring

I had trouble uploading all the pics I wanted to on the other blog so here's some more flowers. Aren't they beautiful. So fresh and alive and new!

The Winter has past and Spring has Sprung!

Here's some pictures I took today with my digatal camera. Enjoy! We're in the beginning of spring. You can tell that there is alot of "dead" stuff around but we're seeing the beginning of new life too in buds on trees, daffodils and tulips! The winter is past, hopefully, and spring has come ! We've had some 70-80 degree weather which has been lovely. Come visit!

Are these kids Wired? or am I Wired?

I'm going to for real type a quick post. I need to pick up my lil' sista in like 13 mins. Should be there in 13 mins...

Boy am I hungry:) For lunch I ate a ham and cheese, sub with lettuce, tomatoe and *red onions(*isnt' that what they're called...they taste better than white onions). With mayo, it was good... (think of stomach growling)...sometimes when I'm hungry I don't feel so hot.... I have a cadbarry (sp?) egg in my purse that Krista gave me a while ago, but I'm not in the mood to eat that and all that sugar on an empty stomach... I won't eat it now.

So what's up in my world... I got an awesome deal yesterday. I bought a 17 book series. I don't even know if it's the whole series. They are the Gilbert Morris, House of Winslow series. I've read a number of them when I was a girl, I guess I'm still a girl, but a grown up girl;) They're in good condition and I only paid 25 cent (as some people say down here, instead of cents) for each one. When I have girls (D.V.) it'll be a neat series for them to read...and when I feel like, if I ever do, which I probably will I'll read some or all of it too!

I subbed for the Electricity teacher yesterday. That meant I was holed up in the basement of part of the High School in this massive room, with work stations-(walls to actually practice real electircal work,) and these high table like surfaces, like you'd see in a chemistry room....with a bunch of stools around these stations. Most of the kids were boys. Some of them were BIG boys, tall and BIG! There was another lady that came in and helped some, and she said that the boys respected me. I'd get after them if they needed to settle down. In one of the periods the boys actually brought all the fixins' to play x-box and I told them boldly that they couldn't play that. For one thing I wanted to watch a movie instead and I felt a little weird about them playing games at school.

None of these classes really did anything much at all. So we watched part of a war movie the 1st two periods...um... watched a "man car movie" ,3rd period, about these fancied up cars...kinda boring, and then we watched "Water Boy" the last 2 or 3 classes. Warning: Crass stupid movie. It's bad and stupid:) Would not recommend it. In one of the classes a boy had the DVD "40 Year Old Virgin." He wanted to watch it. I wasn't going to let them watch that. Uh-ah. Nope. I've never seen the movie, but wouldn't recommend it from what I've seen in previews..... bad movie.

Sometimes I think I'm scary to the kids. In some ways I'm glad about that. I may not look old but I'm feisty and I have morals, and I will get on someones case... there's a balance too, I'm not (always) a drill sargent.... I can be friendly and smile too:) I want these kids respect and I don't want them doing much of what they aren't supposed to do!

Even though I'm spouting about these movies, I myself in my own personal viewing need to be more careful.

So here's my "short" blog. It's 4, I need to get going very soon. I usually read over what I've typed and correct some... I'll do that and than I need to scadadle! Chiao! Shabbat Shalom again!

The Case of the Missing Ultra Fine Point Sharpie Permanent Markers!

Boy I'm tired. I worked every day this week as a sub. I'm not in much of a mood to blog much... but I'll tell ya some of what's up:)

My parents are up North this weekend so Krista and I are back here by ourselves... both of us are gonna spend one of the nights at a friends house most likely.

I'll be going to a "Fiddler on the Roof" play most likely Saturday evening that some of the kids from our church's Youth Group are in.

You know what's really random? I'm teething! For real. My left back bottom wisdom tooth is growing in and it's sore and swollen. Last night I took a little "peek-see" at it with a tiny flashlight and I could actually see a little of the tooth showing through. I hope I don't need to get it pulled/cut out! Yikes! It's been bothering me...whine, whine, whine......

And on top of that I have a sore throat so it almost feels like the pain is connected...from the back of the mouth to the throat.

THis is a spazy post... "that's who I am folks, that's who I am (she says as she takes a bow...)"

One time this week when I was subbing, I was double subbing with a Mr. Coffran... and I was writing on the white board and he's standing not too far from me talking. He's complimenting someone on their handwriting and saying that they should take art...so I'm answering his question and tell him that I am taking an art class... come to find out to my great embarressment he's talking to the girl right behind me at a desk... this amused the kids, especially one kid in paticular who laughs really loud.... sometimes during the class I didn't know if the class was laughing at the other sub or with him... i later asked "laughing kid" that and he said "at" the teacher... the Mr. Coffran has a walker and I would say he's kinda "old fashioned" in the sense that he has manners and calls girls Miss. He's a really nice guy. I think the kids take him as a little different, so they laughed at him. Which wasn't nice.

He even did a wheely for the kids... and did "look mom no wheels!" where he picked the whole walker up....of course the kids laughed!

THat was a weird day, I was subbing English for 8th and 9th graders. During my first period a kid swiped my ultra-fine sharpie markers, that were my personal property, off of my desk! I had 11 of them, and a pencil all bunched up in a rubber band sitting on my desk. They didn't get number 12 cause I had it, the little bugger! I put out the word that I'd give the kid who brings them back a dollar and a piece of gum. I'm thinking if the markers really come back I might give 'em a dollar and a pack of gum. This ticks me off.

I just bought these svelte markers...well actually bought them like last week, took em back cause one didn't work on sunday.... than some one took them. They STOLE my markers. I got 'em to do artsy patterns. I've done like 3 really intricate patterns (I should post them sometime.) One I haven't finished yet... and won't until I buy new ones are get my others back.

It was kinda funny and heroic how Mr. Coffran reacted to my stolen property, he took the attendance list from first period and was going to go check the kids out...to try to find the theif. I think the principal ended up seeing him before he got through every kid and the principal said he'd look into it, but I think the principal forgot, who knows. It was like Mr. Coffran was being knightly... over markers... it blessed my heart but it kinda makes me feel a little weird.

I told a lady in the office about the crime commited against me. She said something about telling teachers about them so that if they saw them they could get the markers back to me.

This is the second thing that's been stolen off of my desk as I've been a sub! Man!

Enough about the markers!

I'm glad tomorrow is a sleep in day. Even the back of my neck hurts like if I touch it, do you have glands in the back of your neck!? You know when you get sick sometimes you're sore, it's like that.

Krista and I will probably eat out tonight. I'm thinking of Jalisco's. And maybe sharing a chicken quasidillas with Krista, I mentioned that delicious delicacy in a previous post.

Man I might just go to bed early tonight. Last night I got to bed around 10:30. Usually I get to bed more like 11:30-12:00. And I'm still tired! Exhausted.

Yesterday I went shopping at the Salvation Army again, a little while back I was going in there like every day cept weekends. Tried to cut back on that, it was like I was addicted. Made me a little worried. I did go in yesterday. A lady I know, Carrie, saw the jewelery I was wearing, red dangly earrings and a red, clear, and silver beaded necklace with 6 strands. She was telling me that she wanted jewelery like what I was wearing and I was like "Are you making an order?" and she really was. So I got an order for my home made jewelery. Haven't sold any here in Va. for awhile. Sold a special order, of blue bohemian type earrings, maybe 3 weeks back.

Yeah! It's fun getting orders. For one thing it gives me business and another it says people like what I make. I make earrings, necklaces, bracelets, pendants (on ribbon) out of beach glass. Hey maybe since I've written about my jewelery I may make some... maybe out of the beach glass. That stuff is neato! Well see... I may be too tired tonight. You know how if you talk about something you haven't done for awhile, how it stirs up the desire to do it...sometimes.:)

By the way Happy St. Patty's day and it's Tasha's 24th birthday today too! Pray for her if you know her.:)

I need to go pick my sister up from work.

I wish I could see more of you more often. To bad where I live wasn't closer to where all ya'll live... well when we all get to heaven it will be alot easier. Won't have to pay for air fare...

Love ya'll, Shabbat Shalom too! Have a good one! Take rest time for yourself and connect with God...

Funky Glasses!

Here's some funky pics of me with my funky glasses. I think i look slightly funky in the pics....
:) Whaddya think?

The frames are kinda mod...but than again you could call them 70's ish or 60's ish...
interesting how styles cycle.

I wanted to get the plastic frames style. I finally got these new glasses and contacts. I Had't gotten new "eyes" for I'm guessing 4 years-since sometime in Bible School...for real! One thing I'm a little bummed on, is that I don't think I got them quite strong enough...I'll be driving and if signs are a certain distance away.... I can't really read them and they're at a distance where I think I should be able to especially since I got new specs. I've gotten a sinking feeling thinking about that too much...it's like ahh, I got new glasses and I still have some trouble seeing... it's bothered me some, but most of the time I don't notice. It's better inside because things aren't 100-200 feet away....

I have a friend in Georgia that wanted me to post a pic with me in my new specs (glasses)...so I'm doing this for you Sarah and all my other loyal fans!

Enjoy! Now I can see you! Yes I am watching you...and you...don't they look teacherly? I look like i should be in some Driving miss daisy movie, depression era.... england in the 80's? oh whatever....:)

"Cheerio! Matey!"

ART EXPO!

Here's some pictures I've drawn for ART class and for fun...(ART is fun too, but it's assigned work...you know what I mean!:)

Love isn't just for couples

Happy Valentine's day everyone, Kinda late, at about 10:30 at night. Oh well it's Valentine's Day all day! I worked today and wore pink, with alot of black. One of my kids told me, "Miss Parker you look lovely." Than he was like, but I'm lovelier. Makes me laugh!

Isn't this picture great. It's so beautiful and artsy. The line and shadow... I won't tell you what magazine I got it out of, it may wreck it for some of you... (the type of magazine starts with an "O" and ends with an "prah")

A friend of mine sent out an e-mail and was talking about having Jesus as her valentine. Her e-mail made me get a little teary eyed. As a single Jesus can be your special someone in a way that married's don't have. Becuase they have that other person, but us single's all we have is Jesus. Of course we have friends, but it's different as a single.

My family had a special Valentine's dinner this evening. Thanks to Mary A. we had chicken burritos, it's her recipe. They came out good:) I took out the two leaves in the table and made it more of circle/oval, and set it up with 4 chairs... one on each side...like in resturants... I put my hat box in the middle of the table and draped it with black velvet like material. On that I put a lantern, an antique one and had it surrounded by mini goblets (they are really little, like2 and a half inches tall, from the $ store) with little red votives in the goblets.
Than on the next level, table level I had little stem ed glass custard cups, 6 around the hat box and a votive in each of those. Than I had our water glasses (these also have stems) and the regular plates and silver ware, and I had my off white cloth napkins and a off white table cloth. It was lovely, and we had all the lights shut off, we had enough light with all the candles and lantern lit... and there were a few other candles on the bar too.

One thing I did that was nifty was put 8 votives in the deep snow on the deck...I pushed them down into the snow a little than as they burned they got deeper into the snow and they got to a point where all you could see was the snow glowing-a circle of golden light. I put the candles in a heart shape:) It was really cute. And i drew around the votive heart-drew a heart and the finger drawn shape picked up the light so that was glowing some too. It was a luminescint picture of beauty...:)

At dinner each of us had some little presents. My dad gave me a stuffed lion and he gave me a card that I treasure. He doesn't do gifts that he picks out and from him, much, if hardly at all. The gifts are often from my mom and my dad. My mom gave me a rose earlier. So I had a special evening with my family. The meal and the gifts. I'm a gift person. :) Especially if it's something I want or they know I'd really like it, if some thoughts gone into it and if it's sentimental... that's the type of gifts I like-ususally:)

Here's a poem that I just liked. I got it off the "site for sore eyes" (there's a link to it in my links section...) I think it's appropriate for us single girls. Don't be embarressed girls and guys this is what we're really looking for, what really matters. (Handsome is definately a plus...specially for me I'm an artist and visual;) This is a really special poem.

Dear God, I prayed, all unafraid,
(as we’re inclined to do)
I do not need a handsome man
But let him be like You
I do not need one big and tall
Nor need he be some genius
Or wealthy, Lord, at all;
But let his head be high, dear God,
And let his eye be clear,His shoulders straight,
Whate’er his state
Whate’er his earthly sphere;
And let his face have character,
A ruggedness of soul,
And let his whole life show,
Dear God,A singleness of goal;
That when he comes(as he will come)
With quiet eyes aglow
I’ll understand that he’s the man
I prayed for long ago.

Ruth Bell, written in 1939 before she met Billy

"AMIGAS AND AMIGOS! INTRODUCING THE BIG SOMBRERO!

Good evening senorita, I love your sombrero! Will you be my amiga! This was at my birthday dinner. Krista and I went out to eat at Jalisco's a mexican resturant in town. It was very nice.

Krista got chicken quisadilla's that were excellent! And I got this grilled chicken platter with mexican sausage on top of the chicken and cheese and the refried beans etc...

I asked the waiter guy if they did anything for birthdays... and he found out it was my birthday. They did.

So like 5 of their employees come out with this huge desert, and they sing to me. You can see it in my picture! It was fried ice cream with all this whipped topping and rainbow jimmies, a candle and a cherry on top. It was really yummy, and BIG... so they have this polaroid camera and one of the mexican guys gets a bite of the whipped topping and puts it on my noise/in my noise and they snap a picture, oh yeah and i was wearing this huge sombrero, the pic is kinda cheesy that they took. The whole birthday thing they did made me blush. It was embarressing, they sang this Birthday song while they were clapping to the beat and the whip topping in the nose guy would whistle these loud shrill whistles at certain times during the birthday song:) It was great. That hat's not comfy at all...it's stiff and my heads too big...or something. Maybe it's suppose to perch on your head. I don't know I don't normally wear a sombrero:)

My platter of food was huge. Oh and I got this cool mexican soda, mango soda, I actually asked for strawberry but he misunderstood me or something. Oh well, it was still good.

I may just go back there sometime and get the chicken quasadilla's:) (wiggle eyebrows in anticipation!)

Come visit and maybe we can go to Jalisco's and we can say it's your birthday...(jk.-but it's fun... yeah and wrong.)

Enjoy the pics. We did. and do and are still doing.

One Happy Family!

This is the fam. Fam say hi to my friends...friends say "hi" to fam. Well at least this is my mom and dad and the rest of us single kids. Left to right, Krista, Adam, Me (I look a little fuzzy headed), Mom and Dad. In the picture it's like a 30 mins. into the new year...2006:)
Wanted to give my loving audience something else...and a picture. Aren't we a lovely family! The 3 on the left are single so take note!;)

The Bigger Picture...what does it really look like?

I just made myself laugh. Remember it's Friday night and I'm also tired...with that said. I was sitting here at the computar, couphing... and it was making my temple hurt. And then I'm like... where does the Holy Spirit live... you know our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit...so I'm laughing at myself... you know temple-temple. It went something like that. Maybe he has a little apartment complex up there in my head. Don't you get frustrated when you're trying to get across what just happened but you forget the exact verbage of went through your head:) anyways

I did my little regular shopping trip to 2nd hand stores today. I "shop" bout once a week at mostly Salvation Army. One of the places I go is actually run by two guys...they are more than friends. It's called Thriftique...they are really nice cool guys...they're just lost. I'm hoping that in some ways I can be a light to them. I actually gave one of them the brochure from our church and invited them to come. Sometime I man bring some of my earrings there for them to sell. I wanna keep the bridge open for them to come to church if they ever get around to it. One of them's said they would sometime. Pray that the Holy Spirit will move them too. They need Jesus' freedom and healing. By the way I bought a pair of jeans for $2 there.:)

Then they referred me to Sally's store. Another 2nd hand shop in the area. They were telling me how to get there and I'm a visual learner so people can be like you go down such and such a street and it's 2 rights from this street...basically I don't get very far:) with those type of directions. I'm like "huh? what?" So I asked what it was near and I used my knowledge of the area and the business card had a little map on it...and got there. This ladies store was packed! Packed with stuff! Tons of clothes all pushed together on racks...just too much stuff. I bought a skirt and a movie for my Dad there. Skirts for me!:) It had so much stuff that it hindered me from actually looking as much as I normally would've...yikes:) Too much!

Than I hit the Salvation Army. Got my mom a cute white short sleeved button down cotten shirt, um a 2 video movie, an oldie, black and white, with Shirley Temple and another Actress I've seen before...it's about the "Homefront" as the dad's away at World War II. Probably watch at least part or all of it later tonight. We do watch alot of movies. I feel like what I do for fun is watch movies and read. I'm kinda tired of reading some. Even when I sub sometimes I'll read alot. I do draw sometimes, like for the art class. I'd like to do more with people. I live so far from alot of my friends. And too all my BIble School friends especially. Hey it'd be fun to hang out with all ya'll sometime. Hmmm....Come to think of it I do have a good friend that lives like 15 mins. away:)

I don't think we're going to the Father Daughter dance after all. (refer to previous post) Wish we were. WOuld've been nice. *sigh*:) We might do something special in the evening with Krista, Dad and me instead...like dinner and a movie. Another movie... I really do love stories... whether in a movie or book! Like I said before.

Today I taught ART and really enjoyed it. I actually worked on the same project the kids were doing and sat with them and talked with them. It was interesting:) Met one kid who's a satanist...but I don't really know if he's a die hard satanist or just says he is to be in rebellion against his parents... cause they are catholic and being a catholic is boring... anyways. I was even talking about suicide bombings and how I was in Jerusalem, living there the first I was in Isreal and how 2 went off and talked about the one on French Hill. We actually had some intelligent conversation. I like 8th and 9th graders:) There's a girl I had in one of my classes and her last name is the same as mine P______:) She was an emotional creature, laughing alot then the next minute ticked at someone... that period was intersting. THe teacher made a note, this is the only class that can misbehave...:) hmm, after having the class I understand what she meant. They're the kids from I think inclusion, where special ed is with the regular class. This class the kids were more loud and immature... they probably have more emotional and family problems and learning difficulties. One of the boys in there was actually gay too...

I'd say I have a heart for kids 6th grade to highschool-young adult. They are at a stage where they can understand things differntly and you as an older person can love them and influence them differntly than if you were one of their peers. I'd like to do that, but how effective can just subbing here and there with differnt kids everyday be. There are kids I do see every so often...that I remember. It's at least good training and I learn about this generation and their lives just from being around them. It's an education in itself. Which can be sad. But hey these kids are people too. They're just kids, they just want a friend, someone to talk to, someone that cares... and I know I can be that person to an extent for some of them. Even if they get positive acknowledge from me once in awhile if I'm at their school, they can know someone likes them. An adult likes them. That's good huh:) Just to love them. That is the most important thing. "The greatest of these is love." Half the time I'm not interacting with the students the way I was able to when I was the ART teacher. What would a ministry look like that catered to this age groups specific needs and was such that was able to reach this area? Youth groups are good...are really good. But there are soooooo many kids just here in Front Royal. The school today that I was at is only 8th and 9th grade, but there's around 950 kids in that one school! Isn't that crazy! There's such a huge need it's overwhelming. Huge need for Jesus and a life changing relationship with Him and Christian mentors and discipleshipers!:) And if I got training in a certain area, I'd be gone and these specific kids would be 2-4 years older... but that shouldn't stop me from pursuing a goal and becoming better equiped to minister to this age group. Hmmm. Something to think about. I have been ya know.

Life is kinda overwhelming... trying to figure it out. I know all the "right" things to say as a Christian... but It's just gonna havta be a journey of trusting God to lead me. To show me what's next where to go, when to go. I just really have trouble with fear. I don't want to try to do something and it not be God...I've done that before and if you think it's God it can be really painful if it doesn't work out. But I know God has some important things for me to do. He has a calling on my life. I have a destiny to fufill, a purpose to walk in. And if I'm willing even though I may be scared to death, God isn't scared, God will move me in that direction. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other. He's knows my weakness. He is gentle. He is my gentle guide...with big plans for me. What I just wrote can be applicable to all ya'll too! If you're followers of Jesus:)

It's friday night so Shabbat Shalom ya'll. God bless and love ya'll too!